A while back I was involved in the gang’s life, where for approximately 8 years I was faithful to my barrio and homies. This was when I was surrounded 380 degrees by my enemies, when in many occasions I was jumped, stabbed and shot. Thank God I am still alive and free.
In return that God has forgiven my past life I have now learned to forgive my own enemies, and many of them have also forgiven me. My life now is very different than what it was yesterday. I will never return back to the past life. Now living out of that life I can differentiate one life from the other. For example; I have not been jumped, shot at or have gone back to jail to be a prisoner. Now I am free and enjoy my freedom.
I can now see that life in a gang is living a manipulated life by another human being, just like you and me. You come to realize that it is all a waste of time, where you leave your family, school and work behind everything that will actually serve a cause of having a life full of peace and freedom. Only being out of this life you come to see if it was actually worth killing someone or not. Only away from it you can value your own and that persons life which is worth more than any money in this world, he or she might be the richest, the poorest or the most evil person and still be valuable. For example you might kill a bum in the street but just for that life you will still go to jail for the rest of your life and even though you have all the money in the world, that will not buy you freedom, or bring that persons life back. When you don’t get caught and sent to a maximum-security jail where inside, your life is in jeopardy. Or even worst than jail you have Hell.
Being in the Barrio you never come to realize the consequence of your actions or if it was worth all effort you gave. Now I know how valuable life is and therefore would not be able to take someone’s life again. Not because I am coward on the contraire, I have realized that the real coward is that one who does not fight obstacles in his life to conquer success. If I don’t kill anymore is because I have realized that each life has a special price. I have also realized that my life was deceived by my so-called friends whom where only making a fool out of me. I was not born to be anyone’s slave, I was born to be free and enjoy freedom, not just for a moment but for the rest of my life.
With out having to consult anyone of my actions, decisions or my way of living but God.
For many years I was someone’s slave without knowing, throwing away my youth, without them valuing what I have done for them or what I had to go thru. All because of a lie that was very well planned by the one who claimed to be my friend whom at the end, ended up being my worst enemy. Sometimes it is too late for others to realize the deceiving they are being put through. Many end up behind bars, or bed ridden in a vegetable stage, and other just buried under ground, without having the chance to think that one day they will awake to a bigger pain than death. Then that is when we come to realize, that one person never appreciated what we did for them but in the contraire laughs at us, although we killed someone because he told us to. He then refers to us as his idiot puppet, and ends up doing the same thing to us as we have done to others.
I thank God, that he had mercy on my soul. He opened my eyes before he took me away. Unfortunately for others a lot of young men and women are now dead without God and without hope. Or others just physically alive but dead in their souls behind and where are they now? Who remembers them? Or what was their prize for all the bad things they did? Was it worth it? Now they are in jail for life away from their families, away from their girlfriends who are probably with one of their homies and they can’t don anything about it. They are now eating food and obeying rules that dislike, but that they must obey, living the rest of their lives like animals in a cage. Now the power is in your hands to decide whether you want to leave like a slave or be free. You are smart, you will of course make the right decision. You will decide to live on peace, freedom, planning a future, your family, career and all those things that will make you a successful person. Now if you let someone else decide your life that person will not care what pain or suffering you go through or where you end up.
Just like alcoholism and drug addictions this ends up taking over your life sooner or later. Were one day you end up as a slave to it because you no longer can live without it. On the contraire this ends up making you do other stupid things or even killing yourself. Just like getting into a Gang where you are now ruled by your homies or the gang’s leaders that are behind bars, but since you have to prove yourself all you do is obey.
They might just make you kill your own brother and you will have to do it. Living this life is like living in the darkness where you can’t see the road you are stepping on or know where the cliff starts. Fortunately today is the day that you get to meditate on your life and your future. Today you get to take control of your life and not make it shorter by wasting your youth. It’s time to stop being manipulated like puppets by others. We were born to be free not someone’s slave. We were sent here to success not to fail. We were made to enjoy happiness for ever not just for a moment. We were not born to end up in jail or in the cemetery.
